Hey, kurt drew a penis on you and wrote my innotals. I had nothing to do a/ that.
Yeah, she'd be cute...but she has faith. It's a problem down south.
He shouted my World of Warcraft name while we were having sex, and he was sober.
mid-sex i was thinking.. these are not the right balls slapping me
You threw a bunch of trashcans into the middle of the street and nothing happened. I fell on one car and suddenly there were cops everywhere...
I just learned a new drink. Sloppy Ninja. Half Saki Half Nyquil
You could become Eskimo brothers with my dad. How can you pass that up? You pussy.
Ok: all ex-gfs except you from the last 5 years have or are about to have a baby...be on the lookout...
I shaved my asshole for you. You WILL fuck me tonight.
Your normalization of crazy is frightening.
Shia just rubbed his beard the way I do all the time and maybe he's my soul sister. This live stream is life changing.
Ill try not let guys feel my boobs for free drinks next time, no promises tho. I am my boyfriends worst nightmare.
If he flies out here I will sleep with him. I have morals, but not when it comes to southern accents
The people at Perkins seem so judgemental. Big deal if i'm handcuffed to stripper in a star-n-stripes bikini. We still gotta eat.
when I said eat the rich I didn't mean like that but here we are sucking that capitalist dick
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