puked in the new hous. now it's officially home.
she always made me post sex PB&Js it was like fucking a trashier Martha Stewart
i think i just put your shirt on , but i don't remember . my body can't decide if it wants to move in slow motion or fast forward
if tampons were more like dildos the world would be a better place
Good, she had spurs on her boots. That is a sign for instant herp attack.
Mym mom just came downstairs as I got ghome ans I'm trying to act SO CASUAL as i stabdh here hut icant help bur be like 'girl where's ther Turkey sandwiche s' haahaa
I literally need you to talke care of me soooo9o9oooooo drubj gril makin a sabdwiche. SO far its judst bred and paper towel...
Hahaahaah I keep finding little notes you left me on my physics notes... "TOO HIGH FOR BIRDS"
My mouth feels like I've been chewing on leather and firecrackers for the past 3 days
My body is a temple...that happens to be able to get me free Patron shots at the bar
He got weirdly turned on by the video of my cat licking nacho cheese off my finger.
No one likes wet exercise unless it's vigorous sex in the shower
I screamed "You look like a guy I've fucked!" to your brother at a party... I have some explaining to do.
He makes bad life choices and drives a wagon, how is that not my type?
Just stay awake and booze cruise it to class. How are you a senior and have never went to class drunk? No excuses, I have a better gpa.
Met the hot new neighbor. She's into country music and giving really good bjs. Latter made up for the former.
Randomize
