i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
so her cute freckles turned out to be blackheads
I just spent the last 30 minutes shaving my asshole.
i study at coffee shops because all these damn artsy people motivate me to work towards a real job.
Whats the name of the guy with his hand down my pants?
so high i just made my own version of grilled cheese using toast and spray cheese
here comes the puke
last night we were having sex and i didn't care if i got off. i was just holding up my hand behind his head so i could look at my new ring. i think he knew.
I created another version of Halloween, it's called swalloween, whatever girl in a slutty costume you bring home has to swallow or forever be known as the holiday grinch
So maybe putting the blacklight above the futon wasn't the best idea...
OMG IM A TIGER AND I LOVE ROARING
Also, in the middle of me riding him, he said "I want you to dance on my dick" like I was supposed to know what that means
I have a taco in my pocket for later because I am a practical drunk
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
I DIDN'T WATCH THE PILLSBURY DOUGH BOY PORN!!!!
It's a novelty for anyone to see a girl like me in a skirt like this milking a cow
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