gotta love it when a reminder comes up on your phone and u think u forgot about a meeting or something then u read it and its only to remind me to go to the titty bar at 3
I dont think problem is the right word. Problems arent something you enjoy. Life would be too boring without gambling.
we usually just have an Easter beer hunt and never end up at church anyways
I look like a herd of wild horses chewed on my back. If you bite me again while taking me from behind, I'm going to have to cut you off.
I love that the power of margaritas brought us back together.
What started as a "classy" double date ended with Jeremy and I tripping our balls off and talking to the refrigerator while the girls cried on the couch and questioned where their lives were heading.
Yeah. I was about to call 911 but I ended up breaking the door frame off then ran and puked all the way home.
If you say no to drinking on a Monday then I'm going to take you to the hospital for a MRI
The saddest thing about graduating is that we won't have free access to STI screening anymore
Well I woke up and my arm was bleeding. And my blood is on the wall in the hallway.
Umm
No idea. I blame fireball.
Valid.
So apparently there is enough alcohol to get me to agree to going to a strip club, but when I have enough they don't let me in.
when I called the strip club they said there was a note with my credit card. "girl who punched guy in throat" fuck daytona
CUTE BOY IN THE OFFICE WALKED BY AS I WAS STARING IN HORROR AT HARRY POTTER THEMED SKELETON PORN
Masturbated while waiting for my face mask to dry, so it was a productive night.
I HAD SEX WITH COLBY AND HIS FIVE YEAR PLAN IS TO STEAL A REALLY EXPENSIVE PAINTING AND ASKED ME IF ID BE INTO HELPING HIM AND I WOKE UP IN HIS BED TO A WOMANS TUBE TOP NEXT TO ME
Randomize
