I cannot stress to you how much better your current situation is than listening to gay sex
i told the bartender last night that if the palace saloon made a calendar he would be every month.
Dude I thought this was going to suck, but moving back in with my dad is like being at a frat party every night only everyone is 40 years old.
I have a feeling this won't be the last time I wake up wrapped in a shower curtain with the words "Blame Bono" spray painted on it
The pine trees are waving at me.
Put the pipe down honey.
Hi trees.
Should I take my grandma to a keg tomorrow or not? Serious question
I didn't want to but I was drunk in a Disney bathroom with her and had a weak moment.
My mom is selling her car. I'm secretly relieved I won't ever have to tell her about that time you puked in it
Don't worry, I'm sure your thrusting skills are on point.
Thanks for the bagel and the sex.
I GOT THE PAPER IN AT 11:58
EAT MY ENTIRE ASS COM 101
Saw the guy I once slept with, he was buying Beer and shit tone of diapers. Glad to see how 2016 will turn out.
we found her. shes in the bathtub full of raw pasta. i dont even know...
My EX’s roommate heard about the breakup and offered to help me bang it out. I think she hates her even more than I do.
Is constant horniness a medical condition? Because a husband, a boyfriend and an office side piece should be enough penis for one girl - but they’re not :-(
Randomize
