mmm... i enjoy making beautiful women smile
I'm holding in my pee so that I can hear "Cowboy" in its entirety on the radio
I can't breathe out the right side of my face
i wore my purity necklace wen we fucked. but its ok cuz simplified was blasting in the background
hahahaha. im glad listening to simplified justifies breaking ur promise to god
she made me cover her fishbowl with my shirt because she "didn't want to corrupt it."
Made a joint out of my Yale rejection letter. Life is grand.
like we started out all organized and composed and within thirty mins people were throwing up in the bushes, arguing over a beer bong and jumping in the pool with their clothes on
A 12 year old Canadian kid said I was a pussy for only buying a 28-pack. I fit in better in this country.
So, I was thinking... Since this restraining order doesn't go into affect until monday, that leaves us 5 days to wreck his world.
she made a facebook for her toddler.. his likes include lil wayne and ice luge. He has more friends than i do. I mean, Seriously? there's not enough booze in the world to make thanksgiveing bearable
If I had to summarise my weekend I would do so using the words "horrifying romanian moonshine"
He was so drunk and proud of his 6-month-gym-results he actually made me touch his whole naked body.
Using my graduation announcement box as a table to roll a blunt on. I've official stopped giving a shit about senior year
Why are you hurting?
Tried to drink all the beer in Nashville last night....failed.
Remember how I was complaining about how no guy has ever gotten me off?
Randomize
