come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
I puked in the cab and in my hair and he didnt even know
she uses eco-friendly sex toys. she is the literal definition of a hippie.
At home depot. Final room inspection is tmrow, gotta paint over the puke stains
Why does it always end up with me crying in my car.
Riding on an electric horse at the grocery store... dunno how that conversation went but I hope you picked up a 12 pack.
I have been way too involved with your nipples this weekend
I honestly don't know if ill make it through the next two hours. The hangover is strong with this one.
you're trying to get a guy who's been in a coma for 2 weeks and who thought he was in '08 yesterday to drive you to the liquor store?
yeah, you wanna come?
Are you coming to class or was the dick pic this morning your way of saying not today?
And after peeing my pants waiting outside for him, i proceeded to drop down and roll in the nearest puddle to pretend like i just ate shit when he arrived
Vodka and Jamison is not a mixed drink
I just got hit with cramps and found a mystery pill. I'm gonna stay put for an hour and at least see what happens.
We're starting to light shit on fire, bring a metal bucket. Be prepared, Jimmy's off his meds.
Sharted again. Stuck in traffic. Fuck
Randomize
