oh my god. my mom just found my pipe. she thought it was a dildo.
like i said, there should be a sitcom about your family.
So I've only had a mustache for about 5 minutes and I'm already pretty sure it's the best decision I've ever made.
I've banged too many servicemen's wives to still be considered an American.
If I had a penis, I would stick it EVERYWHERE. I don't know what these guys are doing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I know I should be focused on nurturing their bright little minds but it's 10 a.m. and I need a cock in my mouth
I just met his other fuck buddy...I am thinking of befriending her just to fuck with him...manuplating my roommates into hating each other is boring me i need something else to do
There was a pirates of the caribbean marathon on. No matter how much you like rum, it is NOT possible to outdrink the pirates. They always win.
Just resonded to a booty call with "how much effort is required on my part?" I think I've finally reached the point of smoking too much pot
I think anything that happens between 12 and 2 am is just sketchy enough to be a good idea.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I can confidently say that I'm the only 3rd year engineering student who completed all 4 of their exams with One Direction pens
It's 4:30 AM and I just walked through a line of 10 deer without them freaking out. I am the campus deer king.
I am one with the molecules
We just got busted fucking in the hammock by his roommate...I'm so out of here as soon as hes asleep....
We were making fun of some people having sex on the beach, an hour later we were having sex on a golf course
I am certain that you would be a mere freckle on the behemoth of slutty that has taken place at this complex.
Randomize