Nothing makes my dick softer than hot girls in rain boots.
Her vagina turned into a vuvuzela. I didn't know it was a possible to have a wet nightmare.
I want a meaningful relationship and i wont get one if i keep giving him blow jobs in my basement while watching family guy.
I feel like somehow my uterus ended up in my ribcage from all the keg stands i did last night..
I am fine. Katie thinkr i broke things pole dancing. I am coherant.
I made a blanket fort and am drinking Gatorade and eating donuts watching 500 days of summer. I can't keep spending my saturdays like this.
Holy walk of shame. Fuck someone's house. I walked past a family eating their free continental breakfast wearing yesterday's makeup
Now that makes it sound like you had sex with a guy in batman costume and you never took the mask off so you can't 100 percent be sure.
One last thing: he lists glow sticks and tacos as things he can't live without. How would we not be friends??
Now all I have unanswered questions and a fucked up finger
Why can't you just be normal and get dick pics from your exes like everyone else?
you should probably call the Bronx Zoo in the morning to formally apologize
its the right thing to do
They gave my sperm a pep talk after they found out we were trying.to have.a baby.
I know you won't see this for awhile, but I had to tell somebody, and you're like the only person who won't judge me for having an accidental erotic encounter with General Tso's chicken.
True college students do jello shots in the library
Randomize
