he puts the penis in happiness.
I look better un-naked...
his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
I don't think cute and don't forget to get tested belong in the same text
Operation Purity has been aborted
Passed out for 3 hrs til now to wake up naked on my bed covered with grass from drunk slip and slide I would call that success
She stole my hamster. idk who she was, she just walked in and said she knew Keith so she stayed, drank 6 beers, and then stole Charles.
I think I dropped my cock ring in your back yard
The world is my kaleidiscope. I see whatever the alcohol wants me to.
I asked a lamppost to be my valentine. Also: I'm wearing a sombrero. We need more sombrero in our lives.
just peed on my shirt somehow, im calling it a day
Day drinking! Today! (tomorrow too!) Our place! Whenever you get off work! Ready go!
He wants me to tell you "my boner misses you"
Pussy, Peanut Butter Cookies,and Bubble Wrap
Relationship goals: we both wore red underwear tonight. Except he won’t know because my bra been off but it’s the thought that counts I guess.
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