I use a guy for sex and get three minutes out of him. go figure
Segways are the fanny packs of transportation. Useful in some situations, but you always look like a tool when using one.
just witnessed some guy trade his friend $5 and a condom for his keys.
It went from "haha, this will be funny" to "full blown anime porn fetish"
I've always wanted to pass out in a bathtub
I think most people do. Your only real mistake was turning the water on first.
You just sat there and yelled "I JUST WANT TO RUB MY NIPPLES"
Overslept. So hungover. Apparently texting the first person in my contact list the time I would like to wake up is not how the alarm clock in my phone actually works.
i figure if i show enough tits, no one will notice my eyebrows.
I'M ALSO PLAYING VIDEO GAMES AND THINKING ABOUT ORDERING A PJIZZA. I'M NOT SURE WHAT MY MUSTACHE WANTS.
Well, my eyeball is red and the rest of my eye is black. Oh the joys of drinking with u. PS- I laid in a pile of sawdust. it was ok at the time.
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
I have a present for you
Like a legit gift, not just me showing up and getting naked
Dry heaving on campus is my new low. Also, go pats
They left a cherry picker with the keys in it on a college campus, what else were we supposed to do?
I've never met a penis that didn't think I was awesome.
Randomize
