Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
After doing lines off my chest, she said, "do you even know how fast I could suck your cock right now?!!" and her friend said, "yea she totally could".
you should break up with her....give her the gift of reality
he tried to breastfeed my turtle
Apparently Bin Ladens last act of terrorism is cock blocking me....
I'm going to replace you with a friend who will be happy when I find a huge penis
We're gonna take a moment of silence to pray... that his penis is as pretty and as talented as his brothers.
I'm at a winery and there's a 50 yr old woman sitting at a table alone with a bottle of wine and the only time I've seen her get up is to harass the hot dog guy
We smoked speed and opium for the first time. ended up harvesting cucumbers with locals at 9am in a farmers field. Laos is fuckin crazy.
Saturday evening, however, will be my vodka and bubble wrap extravaganza.
Yours weakened by children. Mine weakened by a forearm sized cock for 8 years.
You don't know how emotionally damaged I am from crashing into that park maintenance van. I'll never ride a bike because of it.
that's the first time I've heard "shenanigans" and "apocalypse" in the same sentence
He found out about your side hoe and still helped you try to find a lizard that got in the house
my dad walked in on me peeing into the trashcan in our kitchen last night at like 2am. wtf
Randomize
