Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
I just gave head in the laundry room on campus. He said it was one of the best moments in all of history. Take that, neil armstrong.
I also referred to her clitorous as her "vagina dot" last night...probably going to be dumped soon.
you fucked my boyfriend. margarita girls night will not fix this.
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Btw, just wanna point out that you've hooked up with two guys whose birthdays are today. Congratulations, you have a type!
I mean...he was throwing up for almost 3 consecutive hours. I don't think there's a chance in hell that would have tasted even close to tolerable.
When the question of, do you know who's ass has been on the cake you are eating is said... Good or bad party?
I need you to do me a favor and hide my sword from me tonight. I'm planning on drinking my weight in vodka and I don't trust myself enough to not run through campus screaming "I AM SPARTA!" You'll be saving me a mugshot as well as saving some innocent girls from tears.
I think my vagina is phsycic. All day it tingled and then BAM Channing Tatums look alike fucks me like ive never been fucked in my life.
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at least I have the sex noises of his roommate to entertain me while I wait for him to wake up
I've started brushing my teeth at 6pm, because honestly alcohol is the only thing I consume after that
Well my unnaturally hairy chest finally came in handy. It took at least an hour to shave the american flag into my chest but I definitely went America all over that party
Also epiphany: I gotta quit fucking with dudes that have never seen Harry Potter. They all turn out to be shitheads who probably eat honeydew.
Change of plans & whoring it up tonight
Btw I thought it was impossible to use up 48 bottles of patron in one night but I was wrong...
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