so the weed I found in my fridge is actually lettuce. tell jim I need that 5 bucks after all
oh god was she eating orange peels again
When I told her that her boyfriend was making out with another chick, all she said was "which one"
josh has a chalupa in his pocket if you're hungry.
Alright we have to be drunk.before noon tomorrow. Its a new law i just got passed through congress. It goes into effect imediately
If you haven't seen a huge black man in tiny red snowflake shorts that barely cover his dick, then you don't know what I'm going through.
Some daaay... Bet your bottom dollar that some daaay you'll do that mollyyyy
I'm 50% weirded out and 50% into it
When I said to give it to me hard and fast, I didn't mean like 15 seconds fast.
We had sex during an intermission, then the second period. The bruins better win. Missing a period isn't worth having sex with him
Just got a snapchat from him that was a video of with the caption "my new apartment" in Brazil. I think we might not be seeing eachother anymore.
I just delete my bank app from my phone to have enough storage to download tindr. Is this my life now?
If you can throw 105 mph it’s mandatory that you’re hung.
so i find a box of condoms inside my car with turn by turn directions to her bedroom... kinda freaked out cause she got my address and somehow inside my car
Best night if my life? Time I got eaten out in the backseat of a M5 while eating White Castle. Then he fucked me. Perfect
Randomize
