I think I speak chipmunk. Odd.
Are you high?
No. That's why it's odd
That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
it was really awkward, he kept trying to get on the bed with us and we kept having to kick him back on the floor.
low key just jizzed in a chinese food container
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm not sure which is worse. The fact that I slept with him last night, or the fact that you did too.
And then I interrupted the father of the groom, to ask if she was "ballet or pole" in the middle of his story about his niece, the dancer.
I offered to go to AA with him...not because I am admitting I have a problem but because I want to see what they are saying about people like us.
I have discovered that there is nothing that a giant penis attached to a southern accent can't talk me into. yee-haw!
my night ended with a pity blow in a racecar bed
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The bar has bullet holes in the ceiling, and the country singer had been playing drunken weezer covers. A man just bought me a beer on the grounds that I 'have his back' in a fist fight with a stranger texan. And, yes, the bartender is wearing a sherif's badge
You yelled "I gave my neighbor some of my bitch sauce" and then passed out. You now have drinking limits with us.
Dude are you wearing a trashbag right now?....
I seemed to have misplaced my pants...
no he just sat there holding the hammer and grinning insanely
Naked. naked and bneed help.
I love this text stream: discussing the development of a business model centered around cooking acid to bankroll a yacht trip in Croatia
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