I just made out with a guy for $7.
he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
I can't make any promises. I've tried my best to stay celibate. But if a guys on top of me, Im gonna tell him to stick it in.
We literally played a game called pass the child which consisted of us shitfaced tossing the 5 year old birthday boy at each other
Psh a bachelors degree is the new adulthood. We're all just pretending anyways. I'm sitting on my boyfriends couch while he's passed out drunk. In my lap. On a Wednesday. And he's a nurse. See, pretending to be an adult
Chipotle. Because when you've had diarrhea for 6 days why not just make it 7
Trying to figure out if the guy I'm with right now is the same guy I met spring break
Oh duude it is the guy from spring break! Awk.
He awkwardly handed me plan b on Pickens Street... it was like a sketchy drug deal.
i knew it was love when she pulled a beer out from between her boobs and offered it to me
If you fall asleep, my vagina and I will never forgive you.
His dick is magical but I don't want to die in this blizzard do you see my dilemma
She text me that night and asked how the dick was and I quote my drunk self "average at best"
My phone autocorrected "shhhhh" to "AHHHHHHHHH" and I feel like that says a lot about my life
Fucking suck it up and drink your feelings like a normal human being.
How does it make you feel that I can't control my vagina around you?
Randomize
