p.s. you have a small clit
YOU ARE THE MOST AWKWARD PERSON ALIVE.
The first sip always goes straight to my vagina.
I want you to know that wearing office supplies as jewelry results in waking up with the wrong roommate. Also, strip clubs and vodka don't mix.
this morning he rolled over looked at me and said "oooo, you look like i need a drink" and then put on his clothes and left without another word
it's all fun and games until somebody pulls the tampon string..
just left a line of flour and citric acid on the dresser for my roommate to find. teach that bastard to steal my coke!
Dude, just look at these fucking curtains and chill out.
Too high to move please buy hi-c and pour it in my mouth in exchange I will marry your first born child
I thought we were but then I freaked myself out. So I kind of geared him up for take off and then cancelled the launch
Didn't you used to babysit him?
18 years ago I helped him into his clothes. Today he helped me out of mine.
So I'm just casually at the grocery store when I remember that there's still a clove of garlic in my vagina
Next time I take edibles I'm getting chipotle to cater the event
Riddle me this: How does one check in at the Marriott, but wake up at the W?
Found her grinding on my boss with her tongue down her throat last night. Guess who just got promoted!
I think I need practice at oral sex
I own a practice facility.
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