If I die today, promise to let the world know I partied.... oh god did I party
living well may be the best revenge, but it doesn't hurt that my exhusband is now dating a BEAST.
I'm driving to work with an ice pack on my vagina. how was your weekend?
You know you're hung over when your pose in art class is lying face down on the platform
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'll be there in 5 min. If not, read this again.
Howd you meet this guy?
I found him next to my pants on sunday morn.
we're tailgating intramural basketball with hard drugs and tequila...and i think the players are taking shrooms
She said my dick tasted like a junior mint. Ive decided im using this soap the rest of my life
I just passed a drug test. I want to shout that from the top of a mountain. Can we have beers on the top of a mountain?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She insisted we fuck to Ludacris, not how I imagined popping her lesbian cherry would be. I tried delt and I liked it.
Unless your apartment has 3 am pancakes Im not coming over.
When you get a chance, you should call Nick. He REEAAAALLLLLY wants to hear you make chewbacca noises.
On a separate note, I just found out some condoms aren't vegan. Problem.
Hahahaha I can't wait for you to ask "wait. are there any animal by products in that?"
I was all, oh. I've had tattoos and broken a limb. Waxing my lady parts will be a cake walk. I was wrong.
A girl showed up in my tinder and I have it set to only men... I super liked her because I need a lesbian experience
Randomize