i just heard the ice cream truck outside while mid-masturbation. i stopped and considered running outside to buy one.
Every morning i wake up and check his twitter like a horoscope
so he was shitfaced and kept using sticky notes to label everything like "beer spill" and "going to fuck later"
where did this taco bell managers name tag come from ?
THERE IS THE SEXIEST BEARDED MAN HERE. I CAME EVERYWHERE.
I would compare it to a jeffrey but in smoothie form. More drugs in here than Bobby Brown's sock drawer.
I have reached the point in my life where I realized this is what I'm going to do for the rest of my life. Eat, shit , bar, drink, drank, drunk.
You picked a jagger girl up claimed her then walked out the door with her that was the last we saw of you
Do you think he feels stupid trying to bang girls with his small penis? I'd be embarrassed.
Unless he's under 18, in which case you put him back where you found him this instant.
I think he's an actor
That's not a good enough reason to wear guy-liner
Nah I think he's a bit weirded out I worked out where he lives from a Facebook photo
Umm...sounds like a maybe. I broke my nose and have surgery next wed but if I'm ok by Friday I'm down.
my grocery cart consisted of hershey bars, sour patch kids, starbursts, mayo, 4 frozen pizzas, 4 lunchables, and chips. clearly, i can't do this on my own.
this is the second night in a row i've fucked a guy i met on craigslist. and it wasn't even a post for sex. i posted a housing ad. A HOUSING AD
Randomize
