But do you think a lot of ppl use facebook as a masturbation supplement to porn?
Let me make clear that I am not a facebook masturbator
Why the fuck is BBQ sauce coming out of my shower head?
Had a dream I was a monkey and smoked pot out of a bong made out of a tree
This is the third time that ive slept with him. He bought me more milk. I can feel the romance growing.
wait did i hook up with someone in mcdonalds last night?
You just put lesbians and Hogwarts in the same sentence. Of course I'm in.
Pandora was on point with the sex music tonight
I'm not trying to take your husband away from you, but can we have another 3way soon? I'm just desperate for good dick.
You said "I'm not gonna waste my last condom on you" last night.
He said he couldn't fuck me cause I kinda looked like my brother
I hate that I will forever be known as the girl who puked on the front lawn. That only happened once.
I was legit late to work one day Bc it took me so long to get a good nude
We still getting married? Or were you day drinking
My new roommate looks like a troll. Or a serial killer. So if I disappear, show this text to the cops.
The whole country is going to hell in a handbasket but I got a grade A fucking and don't particularly care.
Randomize
