It's fine actually... I'm pretty sure he had the crookedest weiner in the world anyway.
Like he had it hanging in the wind and you just decided, "nope, I don't think that one's for me." ????
God no! I could just feel it. His clock said it was 8:00 when, clearly, it should have been midnight.
I wish my new phone didn't autocorrect so well. People will never experience the magic of my drunk texts because they think I'm making a coherent statement.
on a scale of 1-10how much freaking out is acceptable if you just found a (possibly used) cock ring in the head board that your parents gave you?
i don't know how the hand towel got involved, but i peed all over it
Chugged a beer while being walked to the bathroom by campus police to pour the beers out.
I'm not judging you... I'm judging our friendship
just run out there and shit all over the driveway when he comes.. and then point at him
He bought my favorite ceral.. I've guess I've earn the status as one of his regular fuck buddies. I feel honored and proud. His roommates girls don't get this treatment.
I just had a fifteen minute conversation with a Raccoon by the garbage bin. I was feeding it chex mix.
No, seriously, I've slept with 3 guys this month.
It's ok, February is a short month
I'm surprised they let us keep partying at that hotel bar, that's like the 3rd time I've had to try blocking the view of him peeing off the balcony. I earn my free drinks.
He asked if I was going to squirt out my bday candles. I'm glad the perversion doesn't stop for special occasions.
You had me at "let me see your balls"
why did you put a dildo on the ceiling fan
the dildo had a suction cup and we had a ceiling fan what did you expect?
I was looking at your nipple and it made me think of you
Well I hope so...
Randomize
