my mom just threw water on me to get me awake and is screaming "where is my fucking car?!"
you gave me a ride last nite what the hell did you do with it after you left me?
Well, I guess that settles the question of how thick the walls are in my building.
just dropped my bong into 7 pieces, and carried the glass shards around my house. dad saw the blood dripping down my arms, and asked if i slit my wrists. way too high to laugh at this.
in respone to your voicemail you left me on saturday, yes i had gone to bed and no i was not still drinking at 5am
why is my new profile picture on Facebook one of me with a bunch of strangers on an elevator?
I've come to the conclusion while folding laundry and watching porn that I may be dead inside.
When I said 'i love my boyfriend' I didn't mean 'send me a picture of your penis'.
I also just told a guy I was available for counseling in case he needed to 'bang' things out. I've become a monster.
We're Scorpios. We're like dogs rolling in whatever smells good to us.
Fuck yeah GAYNESS
*explodes into glitter*
I'm going to stop at grocery on the way home. I'm CRAVING wine from a sippy cup. We have neither wine nor sippy cups.
I can see their wedding vows now: 'Til basicness do us part
I just put on my bra while peeing. I fear this will be my big achievement of the day.
All I can remember from last night was eating nutella and touching myself to Weird Science.
Too high to wash a dish but just high enough for a kitchen fire
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