"you've got the devil in yuh. the curse of Jesus is coming on your sex soon." That's what a homeless guy just told me.
Come on... In this relationship-economy, you gotta have "awesome blowjobs" on your resume.
that would combine my 3 fave things. christmas funfetti and paul simon
i just went through and liked all 1,239 of her pictures instead of writing my english paper. don't tell her, i want her to be surprised
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im shotgunning beers in the kitchen. alone. the cat is judging me.
I had to have my mom pick me up from the party and the windows lock was on so when I went to projectile vomit out the window it wouldn't roll down and it splashed back at my face.
A girl at the bar is wearing green body paint instead of a shirt. Where are you?!
Just puke n rally. People can't judge, it's syllabus week.
Step 1: chug a red bull vodka with no ice Step 2: chase that with a shot of wild turkey Step 3: chase that with a shot of tequila
Step 4: your drunk
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Trust me.. Might look gay.. Might feel gay... But I could snap your neck with my inside thighs bro
I didn't want to leave, I wanted to move into his ass
I was really excited when I saw a billboard for neverbethirsty.org this morning. Then I realized it was for a church.
Bruh, I wanna absorb into the deck.
I wanna become a plank.
God I love xanex.
Verdict: uncircumcised.
What's a professional way to say get your shit in gear?
Randomize