that's the type of pussy you go to the bathroom and wack off before you fuck her, just to last longer inside of her!
God I'm so bored. I wish I had a baby or something to play with.
And this is exactly why you should NEVER have kids.
a creepy fucking ass man came up and started raven cawwing in my ear... he said it was the raven mating call. i am officially freaked out
Last night was epic. Hooked up with Emma Watson, found twenty bucks, and then passed out on my floor.
No you didn't. You drank unbelievable amounts of 151, passed out in someone else's bathroom, and we carried you back to your floor. Nice dreams though.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just got a lapdance on the metro. She said she was on maternity leave and needed the practice.
His foreplay reminded me too much of breastfeeding.
People are yelling about how much they want you here.
I'm going to change, vomit up my mexican food to save the trouble later, and then come meet you. Thrilled.
i love him because he let me keep my UGGS on while we had sex
I plan on being naked for at least 2/3 of the wedding.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
At least is you came to Milwaukee to visit me you'd get the best mind blowing sex of your life and free wifi. Who doesn't want free wifi!
I told him we could fuck whenever was concurrent for both of us
Did I tell you guys I was bisexual last night? I just had a flashback
Today I learned I and my bar naps were the subject of a bar meeting.
i woke up to a text from someone I put in my phone last night as "Giant Penis"
what did G.P. say?
oddly enough it was a dick pic
Watch out for the bush at the end of your steps. it comes out of nowhere
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