Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
Wearing these hooker shoes was a mistake
the dr. explained that the first big patch is called a herald patch since it's biggest. So his name is Harold the Patch.
Wow. You named your rash.
I was just compiling a top 5 blowjobs list and that's in there for sure.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Whenever I walk away from the group without saying anything, NEVER assume I'm just going to the bathroom.
It wasn't like a party or anything. They played PlayStation and talked about sports. Then I threw up on his porch.
There is no such thing as a great breathalizer story. That isn't a thing that exists.
So nowhere in the dress code does it forbid me from showing up to City Hall in a gorilla suit to meet the mayor.
how do you casually eat pancakes with someone after they send you an unsolicited dick pic?
you don't. it's the point of no return for pancake enjoyment.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just put on underwear fresh outta the dryer and it's like tiny Angels are giving them warm supportive hugs all over
He got in a fight. Then called me drunk to see if he should bail his friends out, or walk through a Taco Bell drive-thru. True love.
Every person I've ever had sex with is in Chipotle right now.
On a side note. I slept with a stuffed giraffe last night. Found it in my bed when I came home and snuggled with it. Drunk me reverted to being 2
There was puke outside of my classroom and lecture was half empty. Damn thirsty thursday is intense
His bedroom is the preferred destination of MILFs, cougars, recent divorcees and sexually frustrated wives
His penis is my hero
Randomize