I'm not upset with you; I'm upset with Fox News.
If she's telling you consent laws theres probably a reason
I know it sounds like a good idea, but doing Spanish homework at a bar just because the owners are Mexican and they give us margaritas really wasn't the best decision.
i need to find a notary that isn't going to turn me in for blatantly lying to the us and chilean governments
Not sure if jager bombs can cure tuberculosis, but its a theory im testing as we speak
He gave me his business card. It was a Justin Bieber trading card with his number written in sharpie. I have to call him don't I?
Everyone is hammered wasted already...young, old, the dying, babies...we got them all
He went bowling in his bathroom.. And shattered the toilet.
Thank God I did Vegas bombs with those cops at their Christmas party. We should so be in jail.
I just threw up in my front yard because my roommate was in the bathroom. Fuck New Years Day.
If a handjob meant commitment I would literally touch zero dicks
HEY JUST FOUND A SHIT TON OF MONEY IN THE PURSE HE SENT BRB GONNA GO BUY ME SOME MALE STRIPPERS AND BATHE IN THESE TWENTY DOLLAR BILLS
I have a video on my phone of someone streaking in my house last night, do you have any idea who it is?
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
Point in my hangover when I'm honestly not sure if I'm about to puke, or shit my pants.
Randomize
