i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
i'm sorry if your life is a sore subject
alex threw up in my bong. i'm going to call it a night.
I just made bacon chili cheese fries for dinner...someday my kids are going to realize I'm a stoner & this will all make sense
you kept yelling "this bitch stole my phone" to the guy who found you passed out in the parking lot
And. I know i am a gay man cause when i saw the pic of his cock his feet were in it and i am like what the fuck?
I'm drunk in a place called Lick-A-Chick. PS. It's not a lesbian hot spot, they sell chicken.
You rolled onto your side and told me 'this is the recovery position'. That was after you were stoned. You've done this way too much.
When I woke up next to him on the living room floor, my glasses were broken and it felt like someone rubbed a cactus all over my vag
that was the most beautifully crafted sentence ive ever read that involved the phrase "genitals or whatever"
I know we agreed to cock block each other from now on buttt I WANT this one. I have felt his penis, it is godly, and I am going to have it inside of me, so shut the fuck up and leave.
There's a little game I've come up with since the mess of a party I had; it's called "tinsel or condom wrapper? (or: what's that on the floor?)"
I will give him this, every time we go to the club he gets a stripper's actual number.
I think there is cocaine on my toothbrush.
We got high, had sex, and watched retro scooby doo shows. Best friends with benefits yet.
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