Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
Why does Corona taste like a burp?
Give me a heads up the next time you BBM me a voicenote of you cumming so I'll make sure not to play it while in the car with my parents. Miss you too.
The dog just did a longer kegstand than anyone at the party
I think it is impossible 2 take a person seriously when their last name is Pancake
He's sobering up. It was really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together.
I tell myself every day I shouldn't be friends with you
Please, take the 2 shots of vodka that I left as an apologie.
WAIT DID YOU MAIL ME A KITTEN
How do I go about messaging a girl on a dating site whose little sister I've had a three some with...?
It's like some sort of initiation to finger one of them... so I did it. And got high fived afterwards like a dozen times.
Those were right hand only?
I appreciate you letting me know that the bird died but why didn't you do something about the corpse? or at least give me a heads up that it was still in the cage..Jesus
you have no idea how hungover I am. I can't deal with death right now.
Sometimes I think about the fact that I lost my virginity while watching anime and I wonder what that says about me
You know what...ii have the turtles...were together....i love these god damn turtles...
I drank beer out of a Frisbee and it was all downhill from there...
Randomize
