All I've ever wanted to do in life is right
Maybe you should learn how to spell write first
i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
the taste of these tagalongs is totally worth boning that creepy troop leader chick...
my grandma just told me that size does matter, and don't let anyone tell you anything different.
It was one of those "since we're naked anyway" type situations
i did the responsible thing and pissed myself...
You left me on the phone while you grabbed a plastic bag and started puking. I recorded it. Its my new ringtone for you
Make way for the handjob queen! She will grab what she wants, when she wants, and from whomever she wants.
Wow it must be so difficult to be as popular as you are and smoke as much weed as you do
I can't believe I came last night staring into my profile pictures eyes.
How the fuck am I supposed to enjoy a third ice day from school if I only bought enough alcohol for 2?
I don't know, maybe act like an adult who teaches children for a living
It's like we're not even friends
I already tell everyone in my office my bf is at the Naval academy. It slipped one time and I can't go back on it now
he BROKE his KNEE while we were getting it on, called 911 and the ambulance that showed up contained two paramedics, ONE WAS HIS FUCKING SISTER!!! HOW IS THIS MY LIFE?!?!?!
Poor life choices...?
I’d feel the same about religion. We can talk about it, but I want you to go down on me first
one of my coworkers asked me if I was PMSing today...... excuse me sir, but it is none of your business as to what my uterus is or is not doing right now. fucker.
and yea, I'm PMSing.
Randomize
