it was beautiful and magic like when a hot girl grabs her own tits and smiles at you
its like national bring your ginger to the pool day or something
i secretly love the power trip of being their RA & busting these idiots for everything i did as a freshman
you cant just puke in an arbys and not order food. thatd be rude.
quick, send me a pic of a fat chick eating ice cream in a bikini. no joke, no questions, just do it.
Bjs on a first date are the gateway to getting to know someone for who they really are.
I'm okay with corrupting his young mind.
Ew! He's just a child!
AND I'M GONNA SHOW HIM HOW TO MAKE ONE.
The only thing I accomplished today was naming the bag of wine I've been drinking
I fucking love my neighbors. I offered him chocolate and somehow it turned into a sexual proposition.
But you can't tell me I give the best blow jobs and then not break up with your girlfriend who has fucking TMJ! Come on!
I'm drinking vodka. Get ready for my famous "come over" mass snapchats
I finally had to say "that's the hole where I pee" for him to understand.
Holy shit, did you actually CHOOSE to get hit by the alcohol truck last night?
We found him. He just came running out of the closet with a bruise on his face saying he has been fighting elves in Narnia for a year.
Yes. I had to slow down my handjob so he would last...-and I give shitty handjobs to begin with
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