Blew in her face. She is Pissed. Yahtzee. As she brushes her teeth.
walked into the kitchen nd asked my mom what smells like tuna she replies" your sister" now i cant eat tuna...EVER!!!
As im putting my laundry in the machine, i find a solo cup and a pong ball that i signed babe ruth
my resolution for 2011 is to fuck him whenever he wants it. this year I'm going above and beyond the call of booty.
I feel like this is going to result in some sort of tearing in my vagina.
Thats a chance were just gonna have to take
Dude, she sent me a nude of her posing in the mirror and her dad was in the reflection
The usual, im laying out. Ipod on shuffle, Large spray bottle to cool myself of and a smaller one filled with chilled vodka. I can spray the vodka right in my mouth without even opening my eyes. THIS IS LIVING....
Well yes he stayed. He brought Guiness, them he shaved me. It's a long, but beautiful story.
Ok well i was gonna say you can only borrow my fog machine if you will use it to emerge from your room in a cloud of smoke after having sex with sarah, so yeah we're good
I need you to be best friend brutally honest about whether or not I can go into public like this.
Don't be alarmed when we finally get naked and I let out a WOOHOO!!!
my brother has friends over and I can hear one of them screaming from the basement "BREATHE. FILL YOUR LUNGS. LIVE YOUR LIFE." and it sounds like he's doing some motivational speaking down there but that's actually just how he encourages ppl to take bong hits
Wait, but now I'm curious. In what position were y'all when the cops came? Were you guys butt ass naked in the car? 😂😂
Did you at least know who's jizz it was?
That is questionable.
I just caught your son trying to perform fellatio on himself. What do I do?
Randomize
