; Think of how many worthless people would b non existant if there was no liquor so their parents never hooked up
One minute shes telling me about her volunteer work then she whips out a 12 inch dildo
sooo my mom just yelled up the stairs " you left your bowl down by the computer"....aaand for a second I forgot cereal bowls still existed
The little penguins are speaking with a hispanic accent. I dont know how to feel about it. Geographically speaking, this cant be possibly. This isnt cool.
I'd just like to give a shout out to jesus and plan b for making this day possible.
She's a virgin AND a minister's daughter. We're one schoolgirl outfit from the dear penthouse trifecta
i wanna meet her so much more now that I know she got toed in a hottub.
Snorting lines of xanex off the back of my grandparents toilet before church. Thinking of u.
I. Put. Them. Back. We are NOT making a habit of jail visits.
Bro. Some kids just drive-by judged the shit outta me.
No one should ever have to Neosporin their nipples. At least he apologized.
Last night I woke up and the national rep of his frat was sucking my toe.
I'm hoarding IKEA meatballs in my purse
And I woke up by myself with peanut butter.. Cool
Haha holy fuck. i dont remember much after pissing on your ex's flaming nude pics.
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