yeah well you didnt even puke from the alcohol. we cut you off and went to huck finn's and told you that the "irish cream" coffee creamers had baileys in it, so you shot down like eight of them and puked all over the floor. it was great. we cheered you on and everything
I wish real life had facebook tags so i could figure out who all these people are
Totally just asked Dad if I needed to show the real estate guy my tits so he would let us buy the house. I've really got to work on that filtering thing.
I'm not sure how exactly, but this funeral has turned into a ridiculous night of drinking games
so thats a no on the drunken crutches race 2moro
Someones grandma was rubbing my back. I'm way too high for this.
Skip school. Seven hour blow job Plus Disney movies. Day of champions
I mean like, my liver will beg my brain for mercy. Brainll be like I'm Greg Jennings. Liverll be like I'm Darren Sharper. Brainll be like hold my diiiiick.
Shawn wouldn't stop singing about his cock on the ride home that night it freaked my girlfriend out how consistent he was
I just smoked a bowl alone and took my Zyrtec here's to a full night.
Tried to put an eye patch on while hooking up with a girl. She was not amused.
He came over and watched the USA game with me, fucked me so good my toe cramped, then made my bed this morning before he left. Thank God for Army rangers
It was like 10 tiny penises being shoved in my vagina.
did you call me last night and say you were being kidnapped?
Last night when we were having sex he put the condom on backwards the first time. While he was putting the second one on I blew up the first one, made it into a balloon and hit him in the head with it. I think we're over the honeymoon stage.
Randomize
