I tried to go shot for shot with some guy called "shit show martinez"
Medical school killed my enjoyment of porn. Hard to keep a boner when you're diagnosing all the actor's STDs and skin disorders.
shes on the floor puking and texting simultaneously.
They have beer in plastic boots. How am I supposed to resist that?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We all have our weaknesses that drive us crazy. We happen to have one in common, 21 year olds. Your secrets safe. Touch his penis.
Your wedding's just one more day in my life I can't wear sweat pants.
This is stressing me out. I feel like I need to eat the dick.
Oh my fucking god I saw the pictures. What the mother fucking fuck. Destroy the pictures. Destroy the fucking pictures.
Please confirm the destruction of the pictures. NOW.
I think he's like 40 and maybe a little sociopathetic and i have never been so turned on
Another text to add to the intervention pile, i see
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm honored that you could tear yourself away from your girlfriend's vagina long enough to text me.
Last year you twerked on my Christmas tree and threw up all over the bathroom...in front of my parents. We should probably keep power hour to ONLY an hour this year
He used the ring emoji and we've gone out four times. What is my life.
I just masterbated to the Lets Get Ready To Rumble theme
You tell anyone I'm rocking out to Pitbull in an economy, base-model car, I'll kill you.
sober me is not impressed with the quality of people that drunk me gives our phone number to
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