I think I'm going to go home and read The Bible.
you know how i said i wouldn't send that pic message of your lofted bed falling from you fucking a fat chick? that was after i sent it to your mom
Shaking her cervix like it's the hottest ticket around
just served this dwarf dude an entire pitcher of malt liquor. watching this will totally be worth my bartender's certification.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We walked in and found his glass coffee table broken and you in the bathroom throwing up saying "What a bad first impression."
and then the other night his penis tricked us both into sex
My dad is drinking wine out of a measuring cup. This explains so much.
Let's just do a victory lap through all of our exes.
A gentleman never tells..... therefore i will neither confirm nor deny the attatched photos
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have feelings that need drinking.
You are the only lesbian I know that needs plan b
This bar smells like your ball sack. In a weird way I miss you.
Our night has progressed to doing coke off a laundry machine through a parking ticket
My car has a permanent smell of sex to it now.
I woke up to an email from expedia confirming my flight to hong kong
Randomize