you kept wiggling your finger at everybody at the party telling us this is how he fingered me. you seemed pretty upset about it.
im having a hard time not telling ppl about ur bathroom story
no jill really. Evrything around me is talking to me. The plant, my dog, the tv,the lamp. Its amazing.
The pet store wouldn't sell us fish because they said they could tell we were drunk.
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So ive narrowed my options down to getting food or masturbating. Don't judge me
I feel like I got hit by a truck. Or a baby dinosaur. One of them ran over my body and then stuck me in a blender of fire and storm clouds
Idk. The last coherent text said something about $25 & dimes. And then...it's just letters...
I have words... I can't think of them tho. they keep melting together and forming you and I just want to hump it.
Fighting the urge to throw up all over my little brothers jr high basketball bench. Welcome home aaron
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We got to the hotel at 12AM with nothing but a plastic bag of magnum condoms and lube, while wearing glow sticks. The receptionist handed us a bunch of water bottles and said "These are on us.", not even phased by three dudes about to have a threesome. I love this town.
guys I just made $20 cause these random south african guys thought I wasn't wearing any underwear
So to add to headbutting the microwave while waiting for my hot pockets to cook. I apparently told both bartenders earlier in the night I was going to fuck them both. I hate black out drunk me..
Have you ever had chicken nuggets while high? Because it tastes like hearing the Beatles for the first time
im looking at the positives. number one it stopped me from hooking up with vince infront of his girl, number two it gave me something to do instead of throwing up and number three i fuckin rocked his world
he had a cock ring. i orgasmed before he even put it in
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