I swear she didn't look like that last week.
just used clorox wipes to give myself a whores bath. hello finals week
My ex just called and told me that he is on his way to the hospital because he popped a vein in his dick. Should I go to the ER with him or class?
Last night he asked the cab driver "if you were in the middle of getting tattooed and the tattoo artist suddenly got a boner would you leave or would you get that boner??"
Occasionally I curse my inner 15 year old when I'm fulfilling their dreams as a slut, but I roll with it.
He used the panoramic camera on his iPhone to take a picture of his dick. And it actually filled it. Pretty sure I just came.
how the hell were we supposed to out run the cops in a bus?
Just to clarify, I'm still tripping balls
On an unrelated note, I've come up with a theory of everything
I can only get day drunk because of my medicine now, so... There's that
Plus he is a pilot so I could give him flight dome
I can't possibly be the only person who has ever eaten Cheetos with a spoon to avoid the powder getting in my fingers
No, it's like a legit blood drive. It's not just her out in some parking lot with needles and ziplock bags
The first thing my Christmas gift money is buying is a dildo.
Alan said you can come over and eat me out anytime you want, as long as we give him enough notice to hide in the closet before we arrive
hypothetically, what's the best method to remove an stray semen gob from a roommate's important school document?
Randomize
