Christians are straight up FREAKS
I felt like Norm from Cheers walking into the free clinic.
Glitter + Penis = Best. Idea. Ever.
I have all these new brothers and sisters I'm just now finding out about
Ive never seen someone more dtf than a soaking wet drunk girl who stumbles into your backyard.
I had his cock in my mouth and he still wouldn't shut up about Star Wars.
why didn't you tell me his penis tasted like oreos?
IM A SHIT SUOW THE GUYS AT THE PMACR TOLD ME AJDBO I WEBF RO WALNARY WITH OU SHOES! I WASHT LLOWES FLOWERSA
So I know we're not talking about this anymore buuuuuut I left heel marks on the wall.
BTW the amount of schmoozing I am doing towards some guy for an ID that may or may not look like you... You better love me.
Just got smoked out by my boss. Working in politics is great.
I had a dream that my roommate walked in on me masturbating and I hissed "I'm not stopping this orgasm train for the likes of you" and just kept going
I woke up in a bunk bed beside two Brazilians dude you have no idea how happy I was
I have jury duty tomorrow
I almost deep fried my finger today and yet I think you are worse off than I am.
You know that gay bartender? Not as gay as we thought.....
Randomize
