he whipped it out and it smelt like my toilet after taco Tuesday
it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
sometimes i wish i could find another girl that loves my dick as much as she does
i feel like she has dreams of it being like a person saying hey lets go play
I'm way too horny to be at work right now. I think it might be legally irresponsible to leave me alone with cucumbers.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
her boyfriend dumped her for my exgirlfriend. so filming our hookup is pretty much a definite.
My dad wants to dress like mitt Romney tomorrow night and tell trick or treaters they owe him candy.
scratch that I can tell you where she is shes drunk on a beach somewhere being a penis slayer
Hey, you remember years ago when you told me you would give me a kidney?
By the way I peed in a mug last night cause you were in the bathroom and im pretty sure it is still in the kitchen.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ah that wonderful moment when you realise the bookmark you were using in a book you lent your mum is actually a receipt from a strip club
Worst way to find out I have a half sister
He made her leave because she liked Top-Ramen better than Maruchaun. He's my hero.
Apparently I was so drunk last night I got stuck in the revolving door at the hotel. They have suveliance vidoes of it.
also, my mom just called to make sure the dick tattoo on your arm was fake..
I'm the only person I know that carries solo cups, shot glasses, ping pong balls, two decks of cards, and a lawn chair in his trunk. I'm ready to turn anything, anywhere into a party.
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