How come it tastes like onions whenever I go down on her?
After I talked about my ex for about twenty minutes, she just listened, sluts are so understanding
He can't get past my hymen. At least that's what he said it feels like.
Your brother just informed me that half a mouthful is a unit of measurement. I love talking to members of your family.
My T9 text prediction thing keeps predicting every next word is going to be "midgets".
Her facebook status is 'PERCS ON DECKKK~' which is probably why she still lives with her parents.
What baked good do you think says thanks for being a great tutor, lets bang?
I left two shots of jager for you guys when you wake up from your death. Do with it as you wish
Oh come on. There's no way I was the only female choir student taking shots in the back room.
You had me at "mimosas" several texts ago.
My dating life has become some fucked up hydra of dicks; you cut one off and two pop up in its place.
i formally give you permission to eat me when i pass out
I don't know why I do this to myself his dick is a constant source of disappointment.
You are an awesome peach made of glitter.
There's glitter all over his bed from my Pink VS panties... I think I might invest in similar styles as a way of marking my territory just incase.
Randomize
