i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
It smells like Drakkar Noir and desperation out here.
That's why you should quit smoking.
threw up in my backpack again. Asian guy I cheat from wasn't pleased.
I love having hate sex.
You can't just say things like "great depression theme party" and then not respond.
My family just legit passed around a fifth of Maker's Mark. Also, this is sort of a Thanksgiving tradition. Also, Maker's Mark is really good.
I am VERY upset that you called my fiesta a waste of time.
Lmfao. We asked what you wanted to eat and you said vagina. I don't care what kind. Fresh, barbecue, roasted on a camp fire. I just want it on my taste buds.
got a blowjob in the bar bathroom, got arrested for public intoxication, and found a big bag of weed on the ground on my walk home from the station. my friday night could have been a movie
come over. We can flirt with the criteria for substance abuse and talk about our daddy issues
I mean, the night I fell out of that bus I made you pour vodka onto my wound to clean it, then duct taped a paper towel to my hand and kept drinking.
My relationship: I'm wearing batman panties and a tiara right now trying to get laid and he's doing dishes.
I’m gonna stop you right there. The last time you had a “brilliant” idea, I woke up to my kitchen covered in flour and a javelin through my tv.
Did I ever tell you what happened that night after he ran you over?
He was eating me out on a picnic table on the frame lake trail and right after I came, a group of hikers walked around the corner. Stood up just in time
And this is one of the many reasons why you need a car.
Randomize
