Walking by Farrand Field is better than a porno right now.
you were calling yourself Ulickes S. Cunt.
you refused to come out of the bathroom until i asked you in spanish
Get here now. This is going to be possibly my most dangerous idea ever, and I'm the guy who challenged a hobo to a breakdance fight.
It's been two weeks and I still have carpet burns on my knees. Well done.
Meh. People are people bro. All of us are hairless psychotic apes. Happy 420.
My sharpie cut off line was invaded last night. Where's my turtleneck?
We had sex in the morning in pregnant lady position. Like fuck me like the hott piece of ass that I am, not your wife of 7 years.
Just told my shrink " this was a year for whoring around"
I don't really want to talk about it, but if anyone finds my unicorn mask with my bra in it, I would really like that back.
So my new thing apparently is getting wasted, showing people my slytherin socks and convincing them I'm slytherin..because why not
I know he's only a bandaid for my emotional disrepair, but he can stick me anytime!!
just woke up on the floor with a bottle in my hand. and by bottle, i mean a baby bottle. half filled with tequila.
She grinded so hard on my face that I've got rugburn on both eyelids
First aid class means get dry humped by moderately attractive college students during heimlich maneuver training.
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