Do you know of any times in scooby doo when the monster turned out to be a real monster? You know not just a person?
My mom walked down and caught me drinking by myself, watching the nanny at 3:30AM. I had no idea what to say
I had sex with her like 200 times, and she was only pregnant once, those are pretty good statistics.
Since when do you have sex with people you have feelings for?
Dude you don't understand. I genuinely felt his soul's penis in my soul's vagina.
Drinking franzia alone at noon watching a cheese themed episode of "The Chew" I'm ready to admit I need a job.
youre always welcome to strip dance on tables with me Mag. what are friends for.
Breakfast Clubbing as Juggalos. I can feel our IQs in freefall.
You're married and I'm going to make out with a stranger tonight. Isn't that weird? It's like a gap in the time space continium.
I HAVE to find her. I've got a pretty decent pic of her footprint on my headboard. Wonder if I can get one of the podiatry majors to help?
Nothing worse then being at the gym on the elliptical next to a guy looking at porn on his phone
christmas shopping: 3 hours in the liquor store...
you know you’re single when you try to cook yourself a nice pasta dinner but you’re too weak to open the container of sauce and theres no one around to help you
I think him and kristen are pretty serious now.. I dont think he cheats on her, anymore.
we promised ourselves we wouldn't get too drunk, and what happens? I wake up the next morning with half a mcdouble in one pocket and some barbie clothes in the other.
You had a good week dude, you bought a motorcycle and a beer bong with ur parents money, missed 2 classes, and ran from security twice, good first 2 days to college
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