very cute, but more "I wanna put you in my pocket and keep you as a pet" and less "please bang me" type of cute.
There are thorn wounds on my balls, don't ever question my dedication to party again
My itunes is telling me i listened to toxic by b spears 108 times last night
The best time of year to be high is WHEN THE KING CAKES ARE HALF OFF BECAUSE MARDI GRAS IS OVER YEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH
Yeah he's definitely gonna feel that one when he wakes up. I beat the shit out of him with that broom handle.
I don't know how I feel about the stuff we got from that guy. Me and Monty are driving through town listening to static at full blast...
Can't a woman sleep on the floor in her own apartment in peace without being judged?
Guys, Black Friday does not exist in the world of dealing. Stop texting me asking what my deals are.
I have to take a quiz before midnight. Trying to decided if its a better idea to take it now when I'm stoned or later when I'm drunk.
I just can't even fathom the crazy and I work at a mental hospital.
Toppless hop-scotch needs to become a competitive sport
moms trying to set me up with a 28 year old. hes graduated university like im getting high in my bed and he's an adult
i don't know how to react to you in a diaper crying and calling a football 'sadie'.
i told them you weren't like that.. and they laughed at me?
The hump and dump is a beautiful thing
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