Seriously dude, you need to stop beating off to the ellen show, it's just weird.
Oh. Thats cool. Im not dating anyone right now. Sean gave me chlamydia from some GUY he fooled around with. Im being abstinent.
brittany murphy hurts far more than michael jackson, patrick swayze, etc because i never masturbated to any of those other people
Please stop using the dehumidifier for your weed.
It took him three days to realize his roommate had moved out.
when i first looked at you, you weren't wearing any pants. but then i realized you had them around your neck as a cape.
Did you just say he wants to put a baby inside me?
Not my man #1 and if he likes it then he should put a title on it. Till then the gates of hell. Aka my vagina are open for entrance.
It's funny to me the only time that you clean up is when your weed delivery man is on the way.
They're frat boys at heart and have sickly, dusty, rotting souls.
What's his name?? He crossfits 6 times a week, works in finance & is into the occasional felony class drug. His name is irrelevant in order to know if I wanna bone him again.
Clearly I was drunk when I met them I gave them a muffin. But they sure remembered me
If I hear you use the phrase "silky soft scrotum" one more time I swear to God you'll regret it
I'll do anything with you, except downhill sports and butt stuff.
meow
use your words like a big girl
i ran over your cat.
Randomize
