i had a dream last night that you and i organized a foursome. swear to god
ps i'll be in miami in early july. this text has no relation to the last one
she is like cheap alcohol. you can only get so buzzed before you get sick.
She asked if you knew her boyfriend, and you responded that you "think you gave him head once" and then hiccupped.
The only thing I remember is vomiting and then feeding my dog a Mcdonalds cheeseburger and telling him yolo
Your CAR. Is in a LAKE. I'd say "a big mess" is a pretty conservative description of the situation.
I woke up at 6am to a knock and a naked guy at my window.
Post a pic on facebook and see if those same 46 girls find shitting in the bed handsome and adorable
If you're asking how many times you took off your clothes and played with the tiki torches.....the answer is 3.
her vagina just converted me to Judaism.
On my way, five mins. Is the line long? Do you think they will they hold a pumpkin at coat check?
So after taking my shirt off, he pulls my bra off like a hockey jersey. FUCKIN PRO. Guy knew what he wanted.
Awkward is sitting in your parking spot and making eye contact with every one of your next door neighbors two hours before you have a threesome.
Two of my dealers just made friends at this party. Do you think one will be pissed if I buy from the other or should I just go 50/50?
Left him blackout in the cab, gave 20$ to the cabbie and said drive until the meter said he wasn't getting a tip.
Bangkok has him now.
We walked into the RA's room and he said "is that alcohol" and I screamed "IT'S WATER" and ran out and Vanessa slammed the door and started making out with him.
Randomize
