so the chest pain/shortness of breath/overdose guy we just took to tm hospital is now running down market street from the police in a gown holding his iv.
there are 2 things i love giving: blowjobs & backrubs. how can i tell them that without sounding like a slut
Just tried on my bathing suit for the first time this year. Had to drink a beer to numb the pain.
And then like 10 minutes later they were taking a bath together. HOW DOES HE DO IT.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
"Students using Axe body spray to light selves on fire" is a real headline from a real newspaper. WHY AREN'T WE DOING THIS RIGHT NOW?
So... on the count of three, we are going to forget last night ever happened... 1...2...3
I flashed some kids doing a church car wash. I feel like I really improved the quality of their lives.
they told me if I wanted to live here I had to get an ass tattoo and then they all mooned me simultaneously. ass tattoos as far as the eye could see.
YOU'RE FORCING ME TO BLOW A GUY BY NOT ANSWERING MY CALLS
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yup. Dog walker, house sitter and mistress to the rich, bored and bi-curious. I've got a nice little operation running.
You're his holy grail. The moment he finally gets you to orgasm he'll probably just retire and become a monk.
What happened last night and why am I partially covered in queso?
Are you alone?
No, but I have to leave him in my bed while I go on this date.
You can now call me Rabbi, and I can now perform weddings, funerals, and other services in all fifty states. You're welcome, world.
Didn't think I'd be dancing with the Power Rangers but here I am
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