she then came into the room and yelled I'M GOING TO BE A COCK BLOCK for 5 minutes
Last night I walked out of the bar got in a cab asked the cabi to circle the block. he did and brought me right back to the bar. I paid him $7 thanked him and walked back into the bar.
Can we please stop calling your vagina the cave of wonders?
incase your class ends early, there are three naked guys in our room. but don't get too excited, they're all gay.
A DRUNK EMT IS BETTER THAN NO EMT!!!
You need to braveheart it on Monday. Blue face paint and a loin cloth screaming freedom in your front yard.
No we are not "bros" because I came out of my moms vagina& you went in there.
not totally sure where im at but i think i've definitely woken up on this couch before. bong on the coffee table looks familiar. should be able to find my way home
Do you think next time you could control the yawn? Kind of a buzzkill to be mid-orgasm and see you yawning over there.
I stirred my drink with a butcher knife. His roomate keeps giving me dirty looks
Like what do you want from me
she stole my Timberlands and my Sublime shirt and left her heels and bra. this is war
fries before guys. food before dudes. shakes before dates. chips before dicks. lemon bars before football stars. macaroni before screwin' tony. what i'm saying is please come to ladies' night
I am the Angelina Jolie to his Billy Bob Thorton. We just don't work.
I feel like any time there's that much rope, lingerie, and horse masks on the ground, it's safe to say it was a great night
The dentist walked in on me trying to bottle some laughing gas to take home with me. That high.
Randomize
