Remember that dream I told you about where I shit out my own skeleton? I had it again last night.
Can we talk about the cons of throwing up in the bathtub. there are no pros.
I was so high I couldn't tell if they were goosebumps or herpes.
Good news, I found your other leg warmer. Bad news, I don't know if the pile of puke I found it in was yours.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Every part of me is in agreement...but mostly my vagina
If our sexual relationship was relative to the Harry Potter series, I would have claimed the Wizard's Cup at least ten times.
he gave me a flinstones gummy vitamin and was like, "ya know.. because of ebola."
also i don't know what you guys ate last night but he broke the toilet
IT'S LIKE LOOKING INTO GOD'S VAGINA!!!!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
WHAT IS ALL THIS WATER BOTTLE FLIPPING NONSENSE? WHAT IS LIT?
YOUTHS.
My drug dealer was just on ESPN..
I really need to stop turning to the BDSM dungeon masters of tinder whenever my heart hurts
I'm assuming you were here at some stage because I woke up alone, clean and in a towel with mum asking my why my shoes, dress and jewellery were in the bottom of the shower.
Thanks for making me a drunk burrito last night and cutting it into bite size pieces, I always knew you were a keeper.
27 year olds can still do oral in a car right? Or is that trashy?
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