I only have two rules. But i've fotgotten those rules and replaced them w 2 other rules
i just peed in a port a potty and wiped with my credit card statement. fuck yeah!
The heaters out again. Makin a fire in thebroke toilet for warmth.
Post-sex chicken soup was such a good idea. It's been like an hour and I'm still applauding myself
Trying to grind with crutches was not a success
Want me to give your number to an army recruiter?
I don't know... do you want me to use your number to sell used gay porn on Craigslist?
I sense beginning a prank war would end badly for both of us.
Thats gotta be it. Also just found out that the fireworks will fit in the airsoft pistols...we are all gonna die
STOP TELLING PEOPLE I PEED ON YOU
i was talking to them for like 5 mins and they were like HEY LETS GET A PICTURE and tequila said it was good idea
Welp last night I made out with the guy who slices my deli meat at publix. I'm sure there's a joke there but I'm too hungover to find it. Go noles.
that game of battleshots got way too fucking intense. why does the couch have burn marks now.
Pretty sure I scared her away last night by putting a vodka tampon in my ass
The people at Perkins seem so judgemental. Big deal if i'm handcuffed to stripper in a star-n-stripes bikini. We still gotta eat.
we should paint friendship bongs
His sex game is strong it’s like a warlord’s dick! you know what I mean?
Nope
Randomize
