Good. You are like the clit whisperer.
Im too awkward for one night stands. I need to hire someone to come clear them out of my bed before I wake up.
Sacagawea was the original milf.
it never fails, everytime he manages to fuck my earrings out of my ears.
Or I die of a heart attack, which is the more likely/less fun scenario.
all i know is that each time we woke up we were at a different chinese restaurant. help.
Dude. Her vagina is a blender.
Who knew that "When in doubt, pelvic thrust" would end up being the best motto ever? In other news, I think I may have joined roller derby.
Goddamn you thin people LEAVE FOOD FOR THE BIGGER DRUNKARDS WHO NEED IT
But is that really the name you want to scream out during climax?
I woke up with chocolate melted between my tits. I'd say that's a win for all parties involved.
Split a bottle of Johnny Walker and then decided to eat a shit ton of peanut butter. That was a rough bed to wake up in
Is that your mom climbing in your window dude
I've got five complains from the landlord about she being too loud during sex in two weeks I'm marrying her
he's smothering me... and not in the good, can you move your thigh off my face please?.. way
Randomize
