Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
yep. he's not circumcised. how did it take me six months to realize THAT?
see... this is why i put birth control in all my friends drinks
wait.... you do what?
just to let you know, don't open your linen closet for a while until i come over with a cleaning kit and geek squad
I'm sitting here watching a kid lick a basketball- where have i gone wrong in life?
and next time when you feel me up, do it right
He wore nothing but a Speedo and a tie to the party. It was great. Everyone was looking at him like "this kid's the best"
Did you miss the part about my hangover needing a day to rest?
She said I had a really great aura. Which I think is hippie code for "I bet you can give me a mind melting orgasm"
I do not mind being torn from the first touches of sleep to see a man who looks like that
moral of my life: don't tell a guy you want to have sex with him. he'll get back together with his ex.
How's everyone else's ass tattoo today?
How did the date go? No fake eyeballs this time?
On your day off do you wanna get wine drunk and take a few episodes of Jerry Springer way too seriously with me?
I know this sounds fake but she's deep frying a bar of soap right now
Come fucking get her
Randomize
