No, we just ended up walking around in his pool high and singing songs by The Wiggles.
Having sex with the stobe light on was the best bad idea I've ever had.
What happened on tuesday that a stripper knows my full name?
i lose more brain cells when ever she opens her mouth then i would doing meth for 8 years of my life.
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If for any reason you were wondering if i was going to vomit at the airport today, the answer is yes.
Found our threesome girl. She says I'm pretty. She doesn't know I'm pregnant. Yet. Think we can pull it off?
the potatoes in the margarita machine wasn't the breaking point. its when he turned on the stove and put a bunch of bottle rockets on it that i knew the night had prematurely failed
that's like... drinking popov and saying its the worlds best vodka. you gotta try some others first. THERE SHOULD BE A MISS AMERICA PAGEANT. but like, mr penis. and they can do tricks and make unintelligent remarks and wear sparkly condoms.
Lets just say I chased with a burrito.
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I think when Jesus turned water into wine it was a sign that we should get drunk off Sangria tonight. Do it for Jesus. He died for your sins.
Ooo, yeah! Thanksgiving will be a blast. Can't fuckin wait for the next round of "have you found a nice young man yet?" Followed by a lovely helping of "don't worry, there's someone out there for you."
I vaguely remember us chasing shots by licking each other's faces last night. Our friendship has reached another level completely.
Our sibling relationship has really blossomed into a wonderful mutual acceptance of sluttyness
My sobriety has gotten out of control. I think I need an intervention.
We had a company shotgunning beers contest in the parking lot today, and I won. God bless America!
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