Yet again my drunken self has managed to find his way into the middle of nowhere with no shoes or recollection of what happened last night.
Then I guess you don't remember me driving you there after you tried making out with my girlfriend, dipshit.
ew. I made a sandwich, and the cheese reminded me of her vagina
woke up with food on the counter from chipotle, taco bell, green cactus, and on the border take out. explain?
you were trying to get this Spanish chick to sleep with you. you were showing her how much you "loved her native food."
where are you?
Hypothermia
whiskey dick. though we did manage to break my closet door and flood the bathroom.
I really wish I had added "blowjob on a slide at a playground" to my bucket list before last night.
Oh we will ALWAYS be together. Or I'll have to delete my Facebook altogether. I've drunkenly boobie trapped photos of us into every album. There's no way I'd ever have the patience to go through that deletion process.
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
We BOTH lost our virginities there. It's basically a landmark.
I have a strong contender for the new number 1 position for fwb. He met me at the door with pizza and a shot of patron
You know for a guy who frequently jumps into stuff without thinking it through, your can do spirit is lacking on this one
Alcohol and IMDB don't always mix with 100% accuracy
Ah, Christ. I just saw a D lister I made out with once on a Rock Of Love rerun. Why are you asleep right now? Some weird shit is happening.
The room got awkwardly silent right as i yelled "leave him alone! I know plenty of straight guys who like to suck dick!"
BITCH IT IS YOUR BIRTHDAY AND I'M STARTING ON A FISHBOWL OF LIQUOR WITHOUT YOU
I read that out. Group response is "Katie is hard as fuck."
WITH MOTHERFUCKING MONKEY MITTENS
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