i rewarded my self with tacobell for not throwing up on any one. MISTAKE
I have the money I owe you for auctioning off your black thongs. Best 30 bucks ever spent
It's my diet secret . . . it's like slimfast but I call it cockfast instead.
And yes, in case u were wondering a 25 year old high school agriculture teacher did just hit on me At Walmart bc of my pinata
let's just say if he has a penis and he hypothetically needs to put it somewhere... i would take care of that for him.
well, obviously he didn't fuck me for my strong moral fiber.
Haha. Last winter I went through this phase where id go to the bars with my own giant goblet and demand to be served white wine and red bull hah
Seriously your house is like the underground railroad for unwanted gay kids
I left the bar I'm on a bench across from the bowling alley taking a nap please come get me. I've had three lollipops.
I mean it was fine and all but I just don't understand why a man would need all that Simon Cowell paraphanelia
So when's a good time this week to show up at your apartment in nothing but a trench coat and a bow? Y'know. Hypothetically.
I was drunk and really grossed out when you poured cheese on me and, I guess I just freaked out.
I feel like I got hit by a truck. And I vaguely remember getting into an argument with a passive aggressive Ron Burgundy in a onesie- grown man, not a baby- about the pronunciation of New Orleans
Apparently I told him he would be good for human sacrifice.
Made it to the top o the stairs ALIVE YES FUCJ YOU GRAVITY
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