Why don't you ever send me any naked pics
She was like a white Oprah, but with less conviction.
If its vodka, everyone is attractive. Tequila, everyone is dead sexy, single and fuckable.
just fit an iguana in a condom...have pics
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you just kept bragging about how there was a "pretty large" chance that you had pooped on the same toilet as George Clooney
josh has a chalupa in his pocket if you're hungry.
Also I climbed atop a mailbox with a toilet paper hat and a wolverine claw made of glowsticks, screaming at passers-by that they were going to die. Control me
Were not alcoholics, were just impatient for fridays
ill be fine wheb you get back. I'm gunna do real world things like washing the dishes. having to perform serious tasks brings you down.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Wow, im gonna be a great doctor..."hi let me save your life but first check out this pic of me deep throating a handle of grey goose"
I ordered a VEGAN pizza, because it gets here the fastest, just so I could get a 2 litre of Coke. For my whiskey.
I just had the most intense bikini wax of my life, i felt like i needed guardrails
He just asked me to be his girlfriend while having sex on his parents kitchen counter
Did you apologize to him for the trip to the strip club as a first date or is that something that just gets swept under the rug??
Not gonna make it. His stripper neighbors are playing a Super Bowl drinking game that involves removing my clothes
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