return my video game
yeah, we don't understand. the wings losing for guys is like girls finding objects in their body..just weird and sad
is it pathetic that I think he's cheating and it doesn't bother me because for the first time I'm the girlfriend and not the other girl?
Does the whole "it was New Years" excuse apply this year?
Super awkward when the coworker you made out with in exchange for molly last weekend keeps coming over to your cube and trying to talk to you
i was trying to figure out what "tidy fucking" was when i realized he meant "titty fucking" and i need to start banging smarter people....
I wouldn't say I LOVE Pacman. I mean, sure, I'd battle against you in an epic Pacman struggle for blow jobs and glory. But I mean, who wouldn't?
I woke up with my vibrator in my bed so I'm assuming I had a decent night.
And that was the night we had mind-blowing sex with the score from Raiders of the Lost Ark blaring on vinyl in the background...
How do you clean puke off a stuffed bear?
I may have taken the entire adderall. I FEEL LIKE THE FUCKIN HULK. I can't stop cleaning and organizing and doing the clean things
How was your night?
I spent a lot of money and drank a lot of booze. Also was part of a successful search party
We probably are going to die. So. Thanks for agreeing to be my Maid of Honor even though I torture you.
the girls would appreciate it if you invited over some drunk, single, straight men with low standards.
getting my period the day i moved was my bodies way of saying 'congratulations youre not leaving town with anybodies babies!'
Randomize
