Katie Perry lied, you can't just wake up and shake the glitter off your clothes.
Thought you might like this. Had a dance off with an andy bernard look alike and pissed my bed. All in one night.
Once you realized you couldn't finish the 30 you started walking down the street and leaving a beer in everyone's mailbox
You should've come out last night, I need someone to explain why the bartender tried to strangle me...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And i didn't ask you to do that, You showed your penis at your own free will.
I just want you to know that I'm, like, 45% hard right now.
Next think I knew I was pretty much using his penis as a microphone... No more playing Eminem during hookups
Just want to apologize again for asking to spot your form in the shower.
Is using cherry lube as jam shameful or hilarious
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Mind if I sleep with your cousin? If I can... thanks. If no, sorry its gonna happen.
It's okay I didn't send any nudes tonight so we are safe *inserts photo of a baseball umpire doing the safe signal*
She wants to have a threesome with Taylor Swift. I think this is the kind of love my grandparents spoke of.
Like he was cock blocking and it usually takes ten cocks to block this cock
I don't want to date him...I just want him to cheat on his girlfriend with me.
He still want's to kick my ass for fucking his sister, probably a bad idea to leave the bar with his ex...
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