i fuckib htae you, you church bitch.
im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
it felt like I walked into a Tool Academy challenge
Just saw ur first draft of ur suicide note.
You spelled "worthless" wrong.
you tried to do a keg stand and ended up flipping over it and onto the table
I used a physics textbook to prop her up so she wouldn't choke on her vomit...see I have learned something from statics class.
I will never try to masturbate with americas funniest home videos playing in the background ever again
You did a jig for the bouncer when you saw him. Just reminding you.
She was trying to fuck the exchange student from France. His English is really bad and the music was loud so she just pointed to a beer bottle and then her vagina.
Ive waited a long time for a girl with prescriptions like yours.
You missed lesbians having sex in the bathroom and the whole bar clapping for them. I had to do recon. It was amazing
You disappeared for an hour and showed back up with handfuls of bratwursts and yelled at my girlfriend that if she didn't eat them, that the nazis win
I had so much stripper lotion and body glitter on my glasses I had a hard time driving home.
I taught three men with PhDs how to make a gravity bong last night. I love academia.
Last night I had a dream that I changed my last name to Vodka. what does that say about my life?
Randomize
