mutual masturbation is only cool if cash money records is involved.
i nerd-gasmd. plain and simple.
i think you shook his penis after he was done peeing.
I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
i love how he claims to not know english but when i ask him to come over and fuck me he's all of a sudden fluent
she was home schooled till college. were she learned how to give the most amazing blowjobs is still a mystery.
I feel like I should I write an apology note to the frat for falling down stairs, passing out on the couch, and chugging the entire bottle of burnetts at semiforml last weekend. Apparently I was the main topic of discussion at their chapter meeting last night.
I got spanked with a cardboard tube. Apparently he used to be a percussionist. Who favored marching band tunes. It was weird.
That's just a really flattering way of saying, "Yes, you're useless, but you have great tits."
I brought ur friend Scotty home... He started rubbing my crotch then fell down and passed out in front of the microwave
I can't find a song to express how gay I'm feeling.
So the dog chewed my vibrator last night. It added a nice new texture actually.
Life hack: hotbox while in the car wash. It'll change your life.
Giant stained glass jesus is judging my black pleather pants
HOW THE FUCK IS IT POSSIBLE THAT THE JUNIOR HIGH STUDENT IS BETTER AT BEING AN ADULT THAN I AM!?!?
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